Many people have asked me why a newbie such as myself bought an SV 650 and then, almost immediately, upgraded to a ZX6R. Although when I say many people asked me I mean 'one'. And when I say 'asked me' I mean 'called me a c**t'. I had passed my test in July 2000 and picked up my black beauty early August. In November I picked up my new ZX6R and the sale of the Suzuki wasn't long after. My previous bike had been a CG125 (MSoTHP) when I was 16 1/2- 16 years previously- and prior to that an MB50 .

The insinuation was that an inexperienced rider such as myself couldn't make the most- or perhaps even the least- out of a 'bike boy's' bike like the ZX6R and that, in fact, I was courting imminent and life-threatening danger to my person by even having considered it. This is, of course, a fat load of buggering shite. If you're a newbie you may have encountered this blistering bubo of bollocks as well and been unequipped to play the shot and dispense with the sneering twat. What you probably weren't aware of was the following. I call it the "Bit That You Might Have Been Unaware of" and it follows.

Let me throw some statistics into the air for you: 75%, 14% and xy where x is a variable and y is its square root. Meaningless, aren't they? But let me clarify them a little. Bring them to life if you will. "75 % of riders who have participated in more than 10 track days are unsure of the stopping distance at 120 mph with a 3 knot headwind on dry roads with something in their eye". They are unsure- basically haven't a clue. Next up: 14% of IAM instructors- 14%! - have admitted to forgetting to put their boots on and riding in slippers. 'xy' is still meaningless admittedly, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

These statistics paint a far different picture of the 'riding elite'. As for newbies with no experience let's once again open the Bumper Book of Statistics: 8% of riders have passed their DAS and immediately thought longingly about a 140BHP bike or higher. Just like that. BUT less than 1% are involved in a major accident while sitting there telling their instructor they can't believe they passed and waiting 'til the shakes have passed. Also in the newbie's favour is an intrinsic lack of conditioning unlike the Fast Boys who have developed many, many, many bad habits over the years. Many.

Also consider that the older you get the greater the deterioration of the mental faculties. Is it right that these old gibbers should be let near anything remotely exciting? So what I say to the jovial fellow who took such delight in climbing his step ladder of contempt - and shall rename nameless (It begins with a 'D' and rhymes with 'arsy')- is that, far from me being too inexperienced to ride a sporty 600, he is in fact too 'experienced' to be riding anything more powerful than a C50. The obvious solution is that upon completion of a DAS the rider should ride the fastest, most powerful bike he can get hold off and ride it as fast as they can- while they can. One day they'll be too old and experienced to even operate the indicators effectively.