We had a mate called Mad Alex. He was called Mad Alex because : a) his name was Alex, and b) he was mad.

He used to live in the Forest of Dean, and ride the bike into work in Gloucester. Right through winter. He couldn't afford any decent kit, so he just wore as many clothes as he could under his leather jacket.

When he could barely do his jacket up, and he was still getting cold, he thought laterally. "What can I put *over* the jacket", he thought. Only one item of clothing presented itself - his dressing gown.

This worked quite well, and one could often see Alex hooning to work in his checked dressing gown, cord done up at the waist. Until one day a milk-float pulled out in front of him. Alex ended in the back of the float, having broken several dozen bottles of milk. The milkman was completely disorientated - how could he have had an accident with a man who'd obviously only just got out of bed.?