Not road related but still worth a laugh...

I'm out with some so-called 'mates' on Salisbury Plain off-roading and genrally mooching about among the military's toys (and have they got some nice toys? Oh yuss. See that sticking out of the bank there....., that's a fucking unexploded missle!!)

Anyway, tooling along on my old road registered (it's an enduro officer, honest) KX500, and we come across a small river with a blown up pontoon-type bridge across it just upstream of a bend in the river.

This is March and the river looked cold and deep. Soooo, being full of bravery/stupidity/beer/misc substances, I decide to jump it. The gap was about 15-20feet but close up looked a lot larger, and the edge of the old bridge was curled up like a ramp. I get a good run up and go for it. Get up to about 45mph and line up on the ramp. Hit the bridge, which id wet metal, just before the 'ramp', and the back wheel spins/slides and throws me off line so I'm now airborne and pointing upstream!

Fly about 35+ feet and land in about 10 feet of *fucking* cold & fast flowing water (dressed in full off road gear including motocross boots. Sink rapidly to the bottom and extricate myself from the bike.

Manage to surface and get a breath before sinking again. Finally walk/crawl along the bottom and emerge up the bank to *much* pisstaking and laughter from so-called mates. Not one of them volunteered (surprise) to help me retrieve the bike.

Stripped down to skivvies and retrieve the bike by 'swimming' down underwater, dragging it a few feet then surfacing to more pisstaking. Repeat for effect.............. Took about 20 minutes to finally get the bike out and there is now a big group of squaddies gathered round taking the piss as well. I have *never* been as cold as that.

Took ages to thaw out in the front of the army landrover before donning very wet clothes and boots and riding 15+miles home. Would I do/did I it again? Damn right. I love off-road riding on the Plains. I just wish I could have a seen a video of this. Bravery/Stupidity overcomes skill and experience!